Well, I gave a testimony in church this morning. It was my first time in over a year.
I was reading the other day about Christ's entrance into Jerusalem. The multitude of disciples were spreading their garments on the road, waving palm branches, and shouting "Blessed is the King who comes in the Name of the Lord, Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!" When the Pharisees asked Jesus to rebuke His disciples, He answered "I tell you, if these becomes silent, the stones will cry out!"
I thought to myself, "I don't want the stones to have to praise the Lord for me because I am being silent."
So, I was about 20 seconds into it before I lost my composure. But, when God wants you to stand up and say something, nothing can hold you back. So, I shared what God had most recently taught me. I shared how the addition of our third child, not that he isn't a total angel, had overwhelmed me as a mother. I am a fairly independent person, and three kids under the age of four really sent my world into a tailspin. Everyday activities like getting groceries, going to the doctor, running into the bank or any other errand suddenly became a tactical nightmare. And, to add more pressure to our little family, we decided to buy a condo. The condo was meant to be a "quick flip" but instead has spiralled our finances into a downward flush. This decision, because it was made by us, has brought a big swipe to my pride. I like people to see me as a person in control, and it was humbling to admit that we were not. It was humbling to accept gifts from other brothers and sisters in Christ, most of them giving sacrificially, not from excess. I felt that we did not deserve such kindness and grace.
What is amazing, and what I must praise God for, is His goodness. This last year has been extremely difficult, not just because of our circumstances, but because God wanted my attention, and got it. When God wants your attention, watch out!! The adjectives, desperate and hopeless, come to mind when I think about those days.
What has changed? I still have 3 kids, praise God, and we still own a condo that is sucking us dry, but my heart has changed. I have learned that my God is personal, He is trustworthy, He is loving, He is gracious, He is forgiving, He is more than enough, He is my all in all, He is my first thought in the morning, my last last thought at night, He is beautiful, He is my strength, He is my joy, He is my peace in the middle of the storm, and His Word is eternal.
I can honestly say for the first time that although the last year has been difficult, I would go through it all again just to have learned what I have and to be as close to my Lord as I am.
Now, as for the sale of our condo, and the growth of our beautiful son, Ocean, I am going to cry to Him day and night until I wear Him out.
"Now He Jesus, was telling them a parable to show that at all times they ought to pray and not to lose heart, saying, 'There was in a certain city a judge who did not fear God, and did not respect man. And there was a widow in that city, and she kept coming to him, saying, 'Give me legal protection from my opponent.'
And for a while he was unwilling, but afterward he said to himself, 'Even though I do not fear God nor respect man, yet beause this widow bothers me, I will give her legal protection, lest by continually coming she wear me out.'
And the Lord said, 'Hear what the unrighteous judge said, now shall not God bring about justice for His elect, who cry to Him day and night, and will He delay long over them? I tell you that He will bring about justice for them speedily. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?"
