The other day, I asked my daughter what she was thankful for. She said, "The little things, mom." I smiled to myself and realized that as much as I would like to take the credit for teaching her that, I really believe that it was her brother, Ocean.
We have had a crazy summer, as I am sure everyone has. I have to keep looking at the calendar to remind myself that it is almost the end of August.
We have been blessed to have visits from lots of family this summer. Our two nieces from Saskatoon were here for the month of July, and our nephew from Idaho was here with my parents at the end of July. My kids were so excited to see their cousins.
One thing that becomes obvious in the midst of lots of people is that my son, Ocean, has a tendancy to wander off on his own. Often I would hear a slightly panicked voice, "where's Ocean?" Sometimes, it was my own voice. There comes that moment when you casually glance around and realize that you have no idea where your child is. Thankfully, someone always found him. He would be on the edge of the woods, watching an ant crawl up a tree trunk, or observing the trickle of water down some rocks, or even laying on his back in the grass, listening to the wind in the leaves.
This last spring, we had Ocean tested for autism. We didn't really believe that he had it, but the series of tests, and the advice from his school persuaded us to at least try. He had a lengthy interview with a developmental psychiatrist, I filled out pages and pages of questions, and after several phone calls, we had an appointment with a developmental pediatrician. The doctor was very kind and patient. He actually reminded me of my dad, so maybe he seemed familiar to Ocean too, because he warmed right up to the doctor. After two hours of testing, he looked me in the eyes and said, "Your son does not have autism." I was silent as all of the old, familiar feelings washed over me. I have lost track of the doctors who have avoided our eyes and said, "wow, this is very interesting...nothing I have seen before... somewhat of a mystery...we'll keep in touch...".
This doctor proceeded to tell me that the term "global delay" that had been given to Ocean was very misleading. He said that term gives the impression that Ocean will eventually catch up, and he believes that Ocean will not. He has a 50 percent delay that will most likely always be there. It will be more obvious at different stages of Ocean's life. When he was 2, acting like a 1 year old, it wasn't as obvious. Now, being 5, with the developmental age of a 2 and 1/2 year old, it is more noticable. I found myself saying, "Why?" out loud. He looked me in the eyes again, and said, "Mrs. Falconer, your son has a degree of mental retardation." No one really uses those words anymore, but I appreciated his honesty so much that all I could do was smile. He proceeded to tell me that to teach Ocean would take a lot of time and effort on our part and that he needed as much support at school and at home as possible.
The little things... Ocean using the potty or saying a new word. We are so thankful for every moment we have with that little boy. Life is full of challenges. But, my God has promised that He will not give me more than I can handle, and He will always give me the grace to glorify Him.
