Happy Birthday Mom!

Yesterday was my mom's birthday. I was thousands of miles away. However, I was traveling, so I had lots of time to think. And, I thought about my mom all day.

I admire so many things about my mom, it is hard to know where to start. She is honest. She will always tell you exactly what is on her mind. She is beautiful. One might catch her at her house in her PJs, but if she goes out, you can guarantee that she will look fantastic! She is strong. She has survived the death of three of her siblings, and both of her parents. She is fiercely loyal. Try not to get in between her and one of her cubs! She is generous. She won't just fill a need, she will overflow it. She is a hard worker. If you need her anytime between April and August, she will be out in her yard. She is faithful. It would take more than a wild herd of horses to drive her away from a commitment once she has put her mind to it. She is available. From the time I was a small child until now, I cannot remember one time she has told me that she was too busy to listen to me, or to hold me. Some respect their moms for having a career, and that is fine, I respect my mom for making the three of us kids her career. I always knew that I was a priority in her life.

My mom is funny. She can always be counted on to make one laugh.
My mom is in love with Jesus. God brings events into His children's lives for many different reasons, but they are almost always to grow us and to show us His reality. Many of us experience a time in our lives that is so moving, so persuasive, that the rest of our life seems to revolve around that one period. For my mom, and I believe that she would agree with me, it was her firm belief that God was going to give her more children. My brother is seven years older than me. During those seven years, my parents experienced the joy of knowing they were going to have another baby, only to lose it through miscarriage. My mom's doctors first encouraged, then begged her to give up. But, my mom was determined that God was going to prove faithful and give her another baby. He answered her prayers, and gave her me, two years later, He gave her my sister. Thanks mom, for gathering close to God's will, and waiting on Him.

I know that I could say more. I have so many wonderful memories of my mom. As for today? I love my weekly talks with mom. And, I know that I could call her at any time, on any day, and she will listen. She will then not only offer to pray for me, she will do it, right then.
Thanks, Mom. I love you more than you will ever know.
Your daughter, Deb

The truck is home for one day and....

The phone rang about nine last night. I was a little sleepy and thought about just letting it ring, but gave in at the last moment.
A very formal, female voice informed me that she was calling from the Calgary Police Department, and wanted to speak with a Debbie Falconer. Yes, that is me, what is this about? My heart was already pounding. Blue had been in Calgary all day working on a job. He should have been home an hour ago. She then asked if I was the owner of a white, Ford, Super-duty truck. Yes, well not me exactly, my husband, Blue owned the truck and should be in it right now, driving himself safely home. Was my husband's name Blue Falconer? Yes, isn't that what I just said? Yes, that is our license plate. What is this about? I was having trouble catching my breath, and hating myself for always assuming the worst in every situation. The woman then politely asked for Blue's cell number, then thanked me and hung up. Hung up? Wait, please wait, what is going on? It took a few minutes for me to calm down, and explain to myself that if he were hurt, or in trouble, she would have told me that, right?
I dialed Blue's cell, and nearly sobbed with relief when he told me that he was about a half hour from home, and everything was ok.
A few minutes later, the phone rang again. I had no trouble jumping up to get this one. This time, a man's voice introduced himself as a constable in Calgary. He then proceded to ask me many of the same questions. This time, I was not so dazed, and demanded to know what was going on. He informed me that they had received a "hit" on our vehicle. A truck with our license plate had been seen doing "stupid" things. I almost laughed out loud. My husband is a lot of fun, lively, adventurous, but what this officer was describing I knew could not be my husband.
It took a few more phone calls for us to discover that the license plate had been stolen off of Blue's truck and replaced with a fake. I could finally breathe normally.
Early this morning, as I lay in bed, thanking God for protecting Blue, and for resolving the situation, I was shrouded in peace. I thought about the person or people who had stolen Blue's license plate, in a vain attempt to tarnish his reputation, to certainly cause trouble in the hopes of not getting caught...so hopeless, so sad. I snuggled deeper into my pillow, and as sleep began to overtake me, I remembered Romans 8:35, 38,39.
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

It's a wonderful life!

Have you ever met someone that life seems to just happen to? I have, I married him eleven wonderful years ago, and life has been happening to us ever since.
Our most recent run-in (hee! hee!) happened to be while I was down in the States visiting my family for American Thanksgiving. I always get a little nervous when I leave him, I don't know why, since I can do absolutely nothing to prevent these little episodes.
Nevertheless, I returned one evening to find my brother-in-law standing in the kitchen with a rather serious face expression. He quickly informed me that he was the bearer of bad news, and that my husband preferred it that way. I assume Blue was deducting that I would become slightly upset with this news. He usually is right, better to go through a second party. So, I listening patiently while Joe explained to me that the night before, while returning from church (that part must have been important), Blue hit a deer and believed our van to be a write-off. Ok, that is all right, Blue was safe. Unfortunately, the deer was in a seriously battered condition, or he would have made a nice addition to our freezer.
Sometimes, when these things occur, I wonder what God is trying to tell us.
Two days later, I return to find a rather curious message from Blue stating that if anyone wanted to hear a good story involving his truck and a Rocky Mt. sheep, give him a call.
Ok, God? You have my attention, what are You wanting to tell us?
Apparently,as Blue and a vehicle in front of him approached a full-grown ram standing on the road, something we do nearly every day in the winter, the car in front of him hit the ram. There was no damage to his car or to the ram, but the big boy was now very upset. As Blue tried to sidle by, the ram reared up on his hind legs and put his head through Blue's passenger window!!
I like Isaiah 30:21. "whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying 'this is the way, walk in it'."
I don't think God is telling Blue not to drive anymore, but I do like to know that I serve a God is going to guide us, and is not going to leave us alone to figure out our way.
Too bad it is too cold to ride a bicycle!

"But, Mom.... But, God....!"

I dearly love my husband. This morning, as he gave me my good-bye kiss on his way to work, he comments, "I will pray for you with the kids today, hon, that you don't lose your temper, I know how you struggle."
My return response was, as always, gracious and kind. "Oh yeah, why don't you try taking care of these kids 24/7, and we will see who struggles then, eh?"
Being a mom is hard. Being a stay-at-home mom is really hard. I am often jealous of other moms that have a "career". They appear to be so successful, put together, organized, and, well, they just always look good.
But, most of all, I am jealous of just that little time away, that break, that time to do something just for me. This morning, despite my husband's prayers, I just wanted some time alone. I wanted to think, I wanted to make the kitchen look like a hurricane of dishes and food had not just recently blown through. I wanted to check my email, and be able to actually read, rather than skim. I guess I really just wanted them, my beautiful kids, to go away, just for a few moments.
I asked them to go play, I asked them to go color, out of desperation, I finally asked them to go watch a cartoon. Each request was met with, "But, mom...."
I opened the Bible. By the way, I have found, not always practiced, that this is the best recourse, no matter the situation.
I found Hebrews 13:5. "...be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."
But, God, we are about ready to have a fourth child, and we live in a one bedroom, one bath house....
Be content, child, you will always have Me...
But, God, our cars are always breaking down...
No matter, precious one, I will never forsake you...
But, God, my son is a mystery to doctors, and we don't know what to do...
Be thankful, daughter, that child belongs to me, and I will never leave him....
But, God, the economy is on the downturn and we will not be able to pay our bills...
Rest in me, friend, even if you lose everything, I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU, NOR FORSAKE YOU!!!!

Even though I feel inadequate, even though I may lose my temper, even though I may desire time away, my God, my Father, will never leave me, and will always give me sufficient strength and grace to love my children in return.
Thanks for your prayers, honey, I needed them today.

Thanksgiving....

Eight years ago, Blue and I moved to Canada. I have loved living up north. One of my favorite things about being here, and there are so many, is that I am able to celebrate Thanksgiving twice!! Canadians are a more laid back bunch than Americans. And, I have really grown to appreciate the lower key celebrations.
We drove to Saskatoon for Canadian Thanksgiving to celebrate with Blue's parents, uncle, brother and family. I love the anticipation of the Thanksgiving dinner, the hustle and bustle in the kitchen, the hands getting a good-natured slap for sneaking in for a sample, the mouth-watering smell of the turkey coming out of the oven, and the gathering around the table to thank God, the giver of all good things, for all that He has done for us.
Years ago, our family started a tradition of sitting around the table and sharing something or someone that we are thankful for. I can't remember who began this Thanksgiving, but a few people had taken their turn when Blue looked at our four-year old Meadow. "Meadow, it is your turn, what are you thankful for?"
"God!" she answered loud and clear.
I felt tears spring to my eyes. That one simple word said everything that we all had been describing in being thankful for family, health, friends, and material abundance.
I think that we should have Thanksgiving every day. No, not the turkey, stuffing, potatoes, and pumpkin pie, but the constant spirit of gratitude that is deliberately stating what we are thankful for.
I can honestly say that there is not a day that goes by that does not contain a complaint, a disgruntled attitude on my part. There is always something to complain about. What if, just if, I replaced those complaints with gratitude, even if, in my shortcomings, my answer is a loud and clear, "GOD!"
I am starting today. Today, I am thankful for my son, Ocean, using the potty at school. I am thankful for my youngest son, Forest, learning to count to five. I am so very thankful for my daughter, who led me up the stairs with my eyes closed, to surprise me with a spotless living room! She did solemnly state that she couldn't do that every day. I laughed out loud! no, sometimes, we feel as if we can't do it every day, but we are just starting with today....

Time continues

My hopes were high for a slow, relaxing fall. Sigh! I guess it just wasn't meant to be, but the dream still floats on the edges of my mind.
The Old School Ice Cream Bus is closed, finishing a fifth summer strong and healthy. God is good. To say that it was a busy summer is a bit of a understatement. I look back on it and wonder how we ever get ourselves into the positions that we do. Are we too nice? I don't think so. A little gullible maybe? Possibly. My motto for the summer was "just keep it together, Deb, it is only for three months!" That mantra worked most of the time, but the few times that it didn't, there was a really bad and embarrassing scene. When a thirty-two year old throws a temper tantrum, it is not a pretty sight. Of course, when I was finished there must be someone to blame besides myself, right?
I chose to place the blame on a friend of ours, let's call him "Bob". Our friend, Bob, asked us to do a "small" favour for him at the beginning of the summer. This small favour grew, and expanded, finally concluded in us running his small business for the summer. Our human nature is so well-trained in the art of caring for ourselves, that to truly help another human being with no personal gain is unnatural, even painful. I was a perfect example. And, as we wrap up all of the final details for both of our businesses, I can't stop thinking about it.
Why do we do the things we do? Why do we lend to a neighbor or a friend? Why do we spend our leisure time helping someone in need? Do we do a good deed sacrificially, or do we tend to our own first, then give to others? Do we expect a returned favor, compensation, or even a hearty pat on the back? Do we only help those who can eventually help us in return, or do we help those who can never repay us?
And, do we serve graciously, or do we cause the receiver to feel guilty, even ashamed that we are helping them?
I was reading "The Giving Tree" to my kids the other day. The story tells of a tree that gave everything it could for the love of a boy. He continued to give even though he often did not receive what he desired most from this boy. At the end of the story, my daughter says, "that little boy didn't even say thank-you!" How do I teach her that she must always be grateful when receiving, but not always to expect gratitude when she is the giver. I haven't even learn this myself...

Meditations...

My birthday is coming up in a few days. I was hoping to celebrate by running a half-marathon for CAUSE Canada. Alas, my training did not go as planned this summer. In fact, I am not sure much of anything went as planned this summer.
I was reading Luke 1 the other day. It is the story of the angel, Gabriel, informing Mary that she was going to give birth to a son. The baby to be born would be holy and would be called the Son of God. His name would be Jesus. Yes, I know, this is the Christmas story, and I am a few months ahead, but I was drawn, fascinated by Mary's complete submission and trust. "May everything you have said about me be true."
We have received another blessing of our own. As of next April, I will no longer be able to call my blog, "Falconer Five" and "Falconer Six" just does not have that nice of ring to it. I have be honest that I am still feeling a bit overwhelmed, and that, at times, when I think of taking care of another human being, my breathe is completely taken away. However, I also realize what an amazing gift God has given us.
Last night, Blue and I lay in bed talking about our little Ocean. He brought up the question of what would happen to Ocean when he is a teenager, or even an adult. Yes, the future for Ocean is uncertain and a little scary, but I was filled with joy that God is enabling me to bring life to another person that would love and care for our precious boy.
So, yeah, I am missing the half-marathon again this year. The next few years of our lives will be hazy with chaos, but we will have lots of laughs, and lots of love. I am so blessed.

Good news

What exactly does the "end of summer" mean? For some, it may be the returning to school, or the end of a vacation. For those of us living in Canmore, we are finally experiencing the warm, sunny weather that is associated with summer at the end of August, beginning of September.
The shorter days, and the changing of colors are vivid reminders though that fall will soon be surrounding us. No season is as short as summer up here in this wild northern land. We make every attempt to cram in all of the outdoor time we possibly can during these tantalizing months. We feel cheated if we don't soak in at least a solid week of good weather.
As I look back through the blurry window of time that contains my own summer, I cannot help but be thankful. I am oh so very tired today. We have worked hard to maintain the balance of a busy, small business, lots of family, and our dear friends, who have been so patient and supportive. I have to be honest, I sometimes did not hold up as well as I would have liked. I am a proud multi-tasker, and as the burdens and responsibilities became overwhelming, I would lash out at whoever or whatever was closest. I yearned to feast on the fruits of the Spirit, and have those fruits of love, patience, and kindness be evident in my life. However, the harder I tried, the more venom would spew from my spirit.
Our pastor has spent much time in the past year on teaching us to recognize the difference between the world's scale and God's scale. I realized that much of the time this summer, I was measuring myself on the world's scale. Dreaming of full nights sleep, consistent breaks from my responsiblities, or endless lattes', I would drag through my days, actually looking forward to the end of summer.
A visit from a good friend of ours sometime around mid-June was an unexpected surprise. Blue actually had the visit with him, and came home with a message: Hebrews 3 and 4. I have read them many times over the last few months. They promised me something that I greatly desired, REST. Our physical, human bodies need a day of rest. They need daily nourishment, and sleep. These are things that God encourages us to do for our own benefit. But, they are oh so temporary.
However, there is good news....He has prepared the ultimate rest, and he has set a time for entering this rest...today! And, this Rest? He understands my failings, my weaknesses! I can boldly enter this Rest, and receive grace and mercy! Thank you, Jesus, this is good news.

Blessed be the name...

Someone stole a substantial amount of money from our business last night.

When I first received the call, I allowed all of those natural feelings to flow over me...anger, disappointment, disgust, and of course, nausea. As I drove the twenty minutes from our house to the scene of the crime, I prayed, begging God to come through for me on this one. I thought through what possibly could have happened. Why is it that when bad things happen to us, we instantly look for someone or something to blame?
I arrived to find two distraught employees. One of them, bless her heart, told me that it was ok if I swore, because this was definitely a "swearing" moment. She made me smile. I expressed my disappointment, the importance of all of us learning from this mistake, but I didn't swear. We gave our statements to the police, and discussed the severity of the situation for some more time. When there was nothing else to do or say, I drove home.

I sank into my seat, hopeless, for I knew that no matter how kind, sincere, or hard-working that policeman was, that money would never be found. Suddenly, I my turmoilous spirit quieted. How awesome, how amazing, that there were probably only two people in this whole world who knew what had happened to that money. One was the desperate person who took the money, and the second is my Heavenly Father, with whom I have a personal relationship with.

I started to ask myself if I really trusted Him fully, if I really believed that He cares about me and my problems, if I really knew in the deepest part of my soul that I am a small part in the big picture, that it is not really about me, but His glory, that I am a vessel to be used to bring honor to Him, then what did I have to be anxious about?

I quietly answered yes to each of these questions, then began to pray for whoever took that money. I prayed that the money would be of help, that it would be used for good and not evil, and that somehow, someway, God would ultimately be glorified.
One last thought exploded into my head as I pulled into my driveway....all that I have comes from God anyway, it all belongs to Him to do with as He pleases. "The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away..blessed be the name of the Lord."

More like Ocean...

We ate dinner at Burger King last night. That sentence is a complete portrayal of present circumstances at the Falconer household right now. It was delicious, greasy, and there may have even been a tomato in my sandwich. Not quite my vegetable intake for the day, but it would have to do. I believe that people must eat at fast food restaurants for several reasons. 1) They tell themselves they are in some kind of hurry. 2) It is fairly cheap and 3) your kids can run around screaming during dinner, and it is ok. Anyway, that is why we ate there.
Watching the kids play while we ate, I noticed a little boy approach Ocean. "Can you talk?" he asked, inches from Ocean's face. Ocean just smiled at him. Within moments, he was surrounded by children, "can you talk?" "can you talk?" "Can you talk?"
I felt the anxiousness well up inside me, I wanted to answer for him, go over and put my arms around him, and tell those children to go away. Instead, I took another bit of my greasy sandwich, popped a few fries in my mouth and watched. Ocean is a beautiful child, and there was only pleasure on his face as he looked at each child and smiled.
After we arrived home last night, two kids in bed, I was finishing up some dishes and I realized I hadn't seen Ocean for a few moments. I dried my hands as I walked downstairs, calling his name. I dropped the towel when I saw that the back door was open. I ran outside calling his name. I found him at the end of the driveway. He had pulled a chair down there and was sitting there, grinning up at the moon. I knelt beside him and looked up. Heart Mountain was aglow with the light of the nearly full moon. It was breathtaking. I looked at my little boy, his face was as bright as the moon. He was so happy. We sat there for a long time. I thought of what brings me pleasure, when all of my work is completed, when I have made a healthy meal for my family, when I feel as if I am in control, when our bills our paid and many other trivial things. Ocean may not be able to carry on a full conversation, but I do know that Ocean finds the greatest pleasure from sitting in the presence of God and His beautiful creation.
I want to be more like Ocean.

Stillness, Solitude and Silence....

I have just shut myself in the office. I can hear the kids voices just outside my door. I am watching the rain soak the earth outside. I have turned on my playlist of praise music. The Old School Bus Ice Cream is closed today because of the rain.
My brain appears unable to function. I am making much effort to will my fingers to type. I am desperately seeking three S's - stillness, solitude and silence. They are out there somewhere, floating just out of reach.
I am reading about Elijah, standing on the mountain before the Lord. "And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice..."
My to-do list is overwhelmingly long, the phone is constantly jingling for my attention, the pressures of trying to be everything to everyone are weighing on my shoulders, the desire to scream and throw something is becoming more and more attractive, and did I mention the kids? Through my rain-soaked window, I can glimpse the peaks of the Rocky Mountains, and God's still small voice whispers in my ear, Lift your eyes up to My mountains, where does your help come from? It comes from Me, maker of heaven and earth.

We all belong to each other

We became member of Mountain Baptist Church in Canmore last week. We first attended this church when we moved to Canada almost 8 years ago. We have been attending on a regular basis for the past 2 years. Our pastor, Trevor Sato, has made an irreversible imprint on our lives. I am so thankful for God's leading in bringing our family to this family. I look back on the last two years, the good and the bad, and by God's grace, we have grown so much. This humble man has directed us upward on more than one occasion. He has taught me true application of God's Word, he has taught me how to listen, how to be still, how to worship, and how to really see God.
We have learned and experienced grace. God's judgment is truly an awesome and powerful thing to understand and to fear. However, God's grace and mercy brings one to his knees.
I attended a Christian school when I was young, a few years of public school, and then on to Christian university. This was all a part of God's plan for my story and I am grateful. However, both of my Christian education facilities had a lot of rules, and I mean, a lot of rules. These are important, I am not degrading that, but I experienced a lot of frustration trying to live the "good Christian life". I never felt like I was good enough.
Trevor stripped all of those rules away, and looked at my heart. Blue and I received marriage counseling from Trevor last year. He showed me my heart, my needy heart, that wasn't needy at all, but was full. My heart was already full of Christ, His joy, His peace, and His love. I was not and would not ever be in need of anything else.
The mission statement of Mountain Baptist is this: To Become and make disciples of Jesus through authentic relationships.
Authentic relationships with our co-workers, with our neighbors, and with our fellow Christians, that will bring glory to our God.
"Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ's body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other."

Life lessons to be learned...by a three year old

Blue tells me that my blog is too serious, that I need to write something funny. Well, I guess I am a serious person, but I would like to be a funny person too. So, I tried to think of something funny to write about...
The last few weeks have been a series of attempts to potty-train my two-year old son, Forest. We have experienced victories and failures, and I am sure you all can see where this story is going.
One day, I was trying the "let him run around with nothing on" plan. I was in the office trying to get some work done. Meadow and Forest were at the kitchen table, playing with playdough. I hear Forest start to cry. Now, when you have been a mom long enough, you can distinguish your children's cries. So, I was sure this was not a cry of pain, but maybe of frustration. I decided to keep working and wait it out. The crying became more intense, and when I called to Meadow, there was no answer. Reluctantly, I ran to the kitchen to see what the problem was. There was a distinct smell as I walked into the room, and I looked over to see Meadow rubbing her hands together. There were brown smears on the wall beside her.
"Meadow, what happened?"
"Mom, Forest pooed, and I thought it was brown playdough, so I tried to form a ball. It isn't playdough, mom, it has nuts in it! I tried to wipe my hands off on the walls!"
Forest may still not be potty-trained, but it was still a very successful day. My daughter had learned an important life lesson: how to tell the difference between poo and brown playdough - look to see if there are nuts!!

If only we all knew

The man approaching the ice cream bus was, well, weathered. I would never venture to guess his age because I somehow knew that I would be wrong. I instinctively felt that he was much younger than he looked. He was unbelieveably skinny. He wore a faded denim shirt, only one button holding it together. As he stepped up onto the deck, the wind caught the shirt and that last button released its hold, revealing a rib cage without an ounce of fat. His wispy white hair was covered by a straw, cowboy hat. When he smiled at me, I nearly stepped back, there were only a few teeth remaining.
"Today is a special day and I am treating myself to some ice cream," he grinned.
I just stared at him for a moment. He sounded as if he may be a bit intoxicated, but his blue eyes were as clear as the sky above.
"Ice cream is always a great treat," I replied. "Why is today special?"
He gave me his order, and as I began to scoop, he tells me that today is his birthday.
"Well, Happy Birthday!" I exclaimed.
"It is my last one" he stated.
That sentence got my attention. I turned to look at him.
"What makes you say that?" I asked
I felt frozen as he proceeded to tell me that he has liver cancer, and has been given only a few months to live. I placed an extra scoop on his cone, and looked him right in that clear, blue eye.
"Do you know where you are going when you die?"
"I have a one-way ticket straight to hell" he laughed.
"Jesus loves you, and you actually have an advantage because you know when you are going to die. Many people do not know. You have time to accept God's great gift and spend eternity with him."
I spent the next few minutes explaining how he could know that he was going to go to heaven.
He smiled and thanked me. As he walked away, I thought to myself how different this world could be if only we all knew. Life is a precious gift that humans often take for granted.
"...For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away."

My awesome dad - Part 2

Yesterday was Father's Day. Of course, I would like to say that I wrote this yesterday, or even before, however, one can't lie with modern computers these days. So, yes, I am writing a day late, one can never be late when publicly commending the awesomeness (is that a word?) of one's father. So, here goes....
One of the most difficult, yet joyous experiences of my life thus far has been the birth of my oldest son, Ocean. I have never been so afraid. Two amazing men were by my side when Ocean entered this world. One was my own father, who has given me more than my deserved share of mercy and unconditional love. The other was my husband, who although he became a father for the first time that night, stepped into the role as if he had been a father all of his life.
Ocean was in the hospital for six days. My dad was, well, my dad. He has never been an extremely emotional man, so I can't say that he cried with me, or held me. Not knowing was the hardest part, and still is with Ocean. My dad, in his own way, held me up. His presence alone, kept me from falling apart. I know that he hurt with me, that he prayed with me. And, he never had to say a word, I just knew.
Last year, we had Ocean tested for autism. I was a little nervous about meeting the developmental pediatrician. Over the course of Ocean's six years, he has grown increasingly fearful of doctors. I walked into the office, holding Ocean's hand, whispering calming words. Ocean immediately walked over to the doctor, put his hand on the doctor's knee, and smiled up into his face. The doctor picked him up, and Ocean began to stroke his beard. I was shocked. I opened my mouth, and I realized...Dr. Prince looked just like my dad! And, Ocean loves my dad.
I am so blessed. I have a personal relationship with my Heavenly Father, who loves me unconditionally, overflows with grace and mercy, and whose faithfulness floods my life daily. This awesome Father gave me an awesome earthly father, and an awesome earthly father for my son. Thank You!

Blue Sky Falconer

A few days ago, my husband and I celebrated our 11th anniversary. Absolutely amazing! I want to quote a very cliche phrase, "where does the time go?"

I met Blue Sky Falconer 13 years ago at Red Cliff Bible Camp. He was late for counselor training, our director informed us that we still had one more male counselor coming. During one of our sessions, we heard a very strange noise. We all walked to porch, and were greeted by a very strange sight. A very small, rusty, may I say clunky red Toyota, was chugging its final stretch up the mountain. When it finally reached its destination, it seemed to breathe and sigh of relief and shut off. The door creaked open, and a guy stepped out. He had recently grown out a beard, and looked very tired. He had driven from Canada. All I knew of Canada was that they had a beautiful national anthem and that Victoria was a fantastic tourist destination. Now I knew that they also produced very handsome men.

Two weeks later, I wrote in my journal that I had met the man I was going to marry. Not only was he very, very cute, he loved God, he was a hard worker, we served well together, he loved the outdoors, he was kind, the campers loved him, and he was extremely funny. We married two years later.

The last eleven years have seen dreams fulfilled, promises kept, three beautiful children born, life lived in some breathtaking places, but never, never a dull moment. There are times I am not as openly thankful for those moments, but I wouldn't trade them for anything.

Recently, he has been working on a trail here in Exshaw. I first walked his trail a few years ago. I had some serious doubt, and was overwhelmed by the amount of work required to make this little path a usable trail. Last week, his picture was published in the local newspaper, riding the Prospector. I have had three calls in the last two days from people inquiring about this trail. That is my Blue... and I love him more now than ever. I am so excited to see what the next eleven years hold for us...

Happy Birthday dad!

Today is my dad's 67th birthday.
I know that I am only one of many who believes my dad to be a very special person. I can't even begin to count the number of times I have heard someone say, "You're dad is the nicest man." Yeah, I definitely agree.
The other phrase I have heard countless times is, "It must be nice to have a dad who can't yell at you." I usually just stare at them on that one, because, as I remember it growing up, my dad had absolutely no trouble getting his point across when he wanted to.
Before I was born, before my parents were married, my dad was in a very serious accident. As a result of his injuries, he lost his voice, or at least the volume of his voice. Since then, he has only ever been able to whisper. Often times, we never know why God allows certain things to happen, and why we humans love to sit around and analyze is beyond me. I do know that being around my dad has always been like a soothing balm for me. Sometimes, he talks to me, often, he just listens. If you want to have a conversation with dad, you have to listen. My mom taught me to love to talk, my dad taught me to listen.
I have three kids of my own now. Believe me, there are moments in every day where I feel like I have to raise my voice to be heard. My dad taught me that is not true.
My dad was always patient with me. He would hold my hand and encourage me on. When I didn't want to hike anymore, when I failed a test, when I was teased at school, when I broke up with my first boyfriend, when I didn't make the basketball team, when I graduated from high school, when I flew away to college, when I met Blue, when I walked down the aisle, and when Ocean was born...dad was always there, always encouraging me to do my best, to be content, and to never quit.
I love you so much, dad. I miss you. I am so blessed to have you as my dad. Happy Birthday!

Too high a price...

It has been a big week for the Falconers. I believe that thought comes to mind at the end of every week, but I have to remind myself that God is so good.
We opened our Old School Bus Ice Cream this week. God blessed us with continuous days of sunshine. I looked out the bus window at one point, and saw the endless line of customers, and thought about Christ instructing Peter to cast his net after fishing all night, and the net nearly breaking from all of the fish. God is so good.
God is sovereign and is at work all around us, although we often fail to see or acknowledge His presence. The night before the bus opened, we experienced His presence in a way that had me flat down on my face praising Him. We had been working for a few days in preparation. Against our better judgment, we often had the kids with us. On Friday evening, we had just finished a meeting with our staff, Meadow and Forest were both sitting on the deck. I walked inside the bus for just a moment, and I heard Blue yelling my name....I glanced out the window to see my little baby Forest, walking across Main St.!!!I have heard people say that time freezes when a disaster is imminent. My scream was lodged in my throat as I watched Taylor, a staff member who had just left the bus, stop his car and jump out. There were not any cars coming the other direction and Forest crossed safely to be scooped up by a lady on the other side, who immediately ran him back across and into my shaking arms. Praise God, Praise God Praise God... was all I could say.
I didn't sleep that night. I paced the house, and told God over and over how sorry I was for being so negligent. I told Him that I never could have forgiven myself. I imagined the loss of Forest over and over in my mind, and how I don't think that I could have survived. I would never be able to face Blue, or our family, or Meadow and Ocean, and explain to them that it was my fault that their son, their grandchild, their brother, their cousin, their nephew was gone. I thanked Him for protecting my son, crying out that it would have been too high of a price... God held me in His everlasting arms, in the shelter of His wing for hours that night, secure in His love. He gently reminded me of the loss of His only Son, the price to be paid for the redemption of mankind. Thank you, Father.
The second BIG thing that occurred involved our condo situation. Two years ago, we borrowed money from a private loaner to purchase and reno a condo. It was a short term loan and was designed to be payed back within a year, then the condo burned down. We had to renegotiate with them, because we really had no choice. Well, here we are two years later. I have learned two invaluable lessons that honestly have been worth the pressure and financial stress of the last two years. One, God is my security, He is ALL I need. Second, I love my husband unconditionally. Life is hard. Life is a journey. Ultimately, whatever happens in our lives, whatever poor decisions we make, I want God to be glorified.
This week, Blue's parents, graciously and sacrificially, refinanced their house to pay off our loan! It is much easier to give than I receive, I am sure. This is very humbling. They are showing Jesus to us, the price is too high for us to pay. We are forever grateful.
I read a few verses in II Corinthians this morning, "But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On Him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers."

Just another day in paradise...

It has been a crazy couple of weeks. I believe that I say that at the end of every couple of weeks. There has been so much goodness though, which means there has been so much God at work in our lives. We went to Saskatoon for Mother's Day. It was a pleasant drive with the kids, absolute miracle. And, although we were there for only a few short days, we had a great visit with Blue's parents, his brother, Dale, and his uncle, Dennis. Family is a precious gift that is often taken for granted.
Last weekend was May long weekend here in Canada, Victoria Day. We decided that we were feeling young and adventurous and packed up the three kids, our dog, a few days worth of food and drove up to the takeoff point for the rafting trips that Blue will be guiding for this summer. Our good friends, Josh and Kelly, met us up there. Although, they were pulling a large trailer. Ok, I admit it, I was a little jealous. I do think, however, that the "five-man" tent that we slept in was a little misadvertised...maybe a three-man? Anyhow, 3 of our people were very small, and Kiska, our lab, was our heater. We had a great time, even waking up to snow the second morning, gotta love the mountains!
And, we made it out for our first, hopefully not last, hike of the year. Johnson Lake is beautiful, and the kids did a great job. I am so rich. God has given me a wonderful husband, and kids, and I am forever grateful.

What can I do?

It has been an amazing week. I called my sister on Monday. It had been nearly a week since we had last talked. The first thing she said was, "Where have you been?"
That is my sister. We usually talk every couple of days. We tell each other everything. We talk about our kids, our homes, our lives. We laugh, we cry. I live twelve hours away from her and miss her every day. She listened to me for over thirty minutes, telling her about my week. Then, my phone died. Arrgghh! Technology, who needs it? Well, at that moment, I did. So, I grabbed my other phone and called her back. This time the first thing she said was, "We sold our house!" "What!!!!!???!!" I yelled so loud, I probably permanently damaged her ears. She probably wanted to tell me quick before my second phone died. However, she managed to tell the story, amidst my whoops of excitement, of how her house sold, and they bought another house within a couple of days. God is so AWESOME!!
We have been praying for her house to sell for over a year. She and Joe live about 20 minutes outside of Rexburg, and believed that God wanted them to be closer to their church and their ministry. Their new house is four miles from the church. They also believed God wanted them to use their home for Him, they often kept missionaries in their house. The house that God has provided has more than enough space for them to house visiting missionaries comfortably. Did I mention that God is AWESOME?!
We sang a song in our worship this last Sunday that I haven't been able to get out of my head all week. I love it when that happens...

When I see the beauty of the sunset's glory
Amazing artistry
across the evening sky
When I feel the mystery of a distant galaxy
It awes and humbles me to be loves by a God so high

What can I do but thank you
What can I do but give my life to you
Hallelujah, hallelujah
What can I do but praise you
Every day make everything I do
A hallelujah, a hallelujah
hallelujah

When I hear the story of a God of mercy
Who shared humanity
and suffered by our side
Of the cross they nailed you to
That could not hold you
Now you're making all things new
By the power of your risen life




God is so good. Another amazing thing happened this week. We have been trying for a few months to make contact with and secure another lease from the landlord who owns the lot that we use for our Ice Cream Bus. We have experienced peaks of frustration that I never thought possible. Today was the deadline for submitting the lease to the Town of Canmore for development. This morning, as my heart began to admit failure, I bowed my knee to the only One who is powerful enough to create a miracle. An hour later, the call came in, they would meet with us this afternoon!
And, this evening, I am staring at our lease for the summer!
"What can I do but thank You, what can I do but give my life to you, Hallelujah, hallelujah! What can I do but praise You. Every day make everything I do a hallelujah, a hallelujah, a hallelujah."

1 in 8

I had the most blessed opportunity to attend the CAUSE Mother's Day Gala this past weekend. It has been said than when you are feeling sorry for yourself, there is always someone in a worse situation. This was one of those events that you walk away from feeling sober, guilty, and thankful all at the same time.
CAUSE Canada is a non-profit Christian organization that battles poverty all over the world, but has a focus in Sierra Leone, Guatemala and the Honduras. This particular event was a fund-raiser for the building of birthing huts for women and children in the country of Sierra Leone. This is a country that sees a staggering death rate among pregnant women of 1 in 8. Unbelievable! Canada has a death rate of 1 in 11,000. I have personally given birth to three children. Every time I found out that I was pregnant, I would experience a rush of emotions, a little fear, lots of excitement. However, it never once crossed my mind that I could die.
The cost of building a birthing hut in Sierra Leone is $3,000. This hut would provide prenatal and postnatal care. It would provide a sanitary birth by experienced midwives. It would give thousands of women hope that they and their newborn may survive.
At the conclusion of the evening, I was overwhelmed with the thought that I am so blessed here in Canada. I was convicted by the fact that I often get so caught up in my own problems, and think of the poor in Africa as something that I can do nothing about. However, God has told us that He has chosen the weak and foolish things of the world, I am sure that He can choose the poor as well.

How can I keep from singing?

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to run in the Rocky Mountain Soap Company Annual Women's Run. It truly is an amazing thing to run with over a thousand women. Blue says the estrogen is a bit overpowering for him, but he is a good sport and he and the kids cheer me on.
I ran the same race last year, and I recognized something I already knew, women like to do things like this in groups. I am a bit of a loner and prefer to run alone. Another thing about women I already knew, they love to talk. Therefore, last year I found that I was in the midst of the Canadian Rockies, enjoying the outdoors, and surrounded by talking women. And, believe me, they talk about everything...
This year, I arrived at the race, proud of myself for remembering to bring my Ipod. There would be no listening to 1,000 women talking this year, no way, I was going to listen to my praise music and was so excited about it.
A few minutes before the race began, the MC put on some rock song with the purpose to get us all "pumped up". I just smiled,put in my ear buds, and cranked up the volume. The song that came on was "How can I keep from singing Your praise?" I started jumping up and down and singing out loud. I was pumped. The whistle blew, and the herd of women began to move.... I kept singing, patting myself on the back once again for remembering the Ipod. This was going to be great.

"How can I ever say enough, how amazing is Your love. How can I keep from shouting Your name. I know I am loved by the King, and it makes my heart want to sing."

Wait, what was this? Where is the next song? I was in the middle of quite a lengthy hill, and was in no position to check the status of my Ipod, but, sure enough, it lay silent in my jacket pocket. This can't be happening. But, it was...

I made it through the race. I even began to enjoy the women's voices around me.
In the hour that I ran, I must have sung that song a thousand times in my head.
I realized that my sovereign God, who always has a purpose, had a plan for me. And, a few times in the last couple of days, I have felt down, or tired, or discouraged. I have lifted my eyes to the One who has given me a new song, and sung, "How can I keep from singing your praise?"

"There is an endless song, echoes in my soul, I hear the music ring. And, though the storms may come, I am holding on, and to the Rock I cling."

He is Risen!

It has been over a week since Easter Sunday, and the awe of that celebration has yet to wear off. Every time I read the story of Mary Magdalene at the tomb, weeping for her Lord, questioning the man she believed to be the gardener and the Lord saying her name,"Mary", I get goosebumps. I have attended many a Easter Sunday in my 32 years, and the simplicity and the beauty of this service will forever be in my heart.

My sister and her husband pastor a small gathering of believers in Rexburg, Idaho. Rexburg is a small college town, home of Brigham Young University. The percentage of Mormons living here is over 90%. Mormonism is a false religion that has persuaded thousands of people that they can work their way to heaven. This is the town that Joe and Sus have been called to, and have served faithfully and joyfully for eight years. By the way, faithful and joyful service for God only comes from God. I am not trying to brag on Joe and Sus, I am merely trying to express my thoughts of knowing two people who sincerely allow Christ to be lived out through them on a daily basis. Allowing Christ to be seen in your life is simply a matter of putting self last and Christ first. Easy, eh?
Anyway, back to Easter. This small body of Christ in Rexburg gathered together early Sunday morning to enjoy a breakfast and to read the story of our Lord's resurrection. The service that followed was not a grand display of the talents and gifts that God has given His people, rather it was a simple offering of the heart. It reminded me of the story of the drummer boy coming to see the King at Christmas, and having nothing of material value to give, he played his drum. It was beautiful.
I have thought of that service daily since last week. What will I do when Christ says my name, "Debbie"? The desire of my heart is to immediately recognize His voice and respond, "Master".

His going forth is certain...

I am ashamed that I have let so many days drift by without writing about the goodness of my Lord. Life has this amazing capability of sucking me in, like quicksand, and time washes over me like a flood, out of my control. And, as I rush from activity to activity, from meeting to meeting, and from diaper to diaper, I find myself attempting to accomplish everything on my own, becoming proud when projects are completed, and worrying when I feel as if I should be able to do more. It is then, I feel a gentle reminder, "Be still, and know that I am God."
Two things are certain. One, God is God and I am not. Two, God is good, all the time.
Life is crazy, no one can argue that point. It is full of joys. We have committed to ministry in the outdoors this summer. Blue passed his EMR course. Ocean will be in 1st grade next year. It is also full of disappointments. Our ice cream business has not sold, and we are without a lease for the summer. But, through all of the joys and disappointments, I must know that God is good. "So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord. His going forth is as certain as the dawn;
And He will come to us like the rain, Like he spring rain watering the earth."

Ocean reaches out

A few months ago, I began to believe that God was trying to tell me something. I was reading in II Corinthians 1, and I just couldn't get past the first four verses.
Our journey with our little boy, Ocean, has built a day-by-day faith. We have cried, we have laughed, we have lashed out, we have trusted, we have succeeded, we have failed, we have been strong, and we have been very weak. Yet, through every test, every tear, every joy, we know that "God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;" has never left our side.
"Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort then which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God."
Knowing that God was with us, that He had a higher purpose, we chose to trust Him. But, I have to be honest, I really wanted to be able to see some of that purpose revealed here on earth. As I read these verses over and over, I began to pray that God would allow me to be able to comfort another in their pain, to be able to share my testimony and how God's love is all-sufficient. And, I believe that God was preparing me for just that.
Last week, a neighbor approached me at a play group. She began to tell me about her best friend, another lady here in my town that I have seen on occasion. This lady's name is Anna. Eight months ago, she gave birth to a beautiful little girl. This precious little one was just diagnosed with a rare form of Downs syndrome. My heart just broke as this friend related how Anna has seemingly shut herself off from the rest of the world, and is absorbed with her grief. I just wanted to shout, "I know, I know how that feels!" Her friend then asked me if I would be willing to reach out to her. I just looked and her and thought, "Yes, of course, Yes, God has already prepared me for this moment."
I feel so blessed to be able to invite her over for coffee and share that she is not alone.
"For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ."
Please pray that God will reach out through my words and Ocean's gentleness to touch Anna and her precious baby girl.

Moments passing by quickly...

Everyone tells me that these 'toddler' years will fly by so quickly. It must be true if 'everyone' says it. My experience has been otherwise, however I try to remind myself daily that these years will pass by quickly and I want to enjoy every minute. These pics were from a wonderful, winter afternoon spent at Lake Louise.

A reminder of dangers...

A few weeks ago, I was speed-reading through our local newspaper. I speed-read for apparent reasons. It is no wonder that many moms are not diagnosed with ADD. Ok, see? I am distracted already. Anyhow, I was reading through the paper, when I came across an article that drew in my attention and my imagination. The writer was describing an event that had taken place a few days earlier in the town site of Canmore, 15 minutes from my house. No one had actually witnessed this grisly scene, but conservation officers, after a short investigation were able to piece together the events that had taken place.
They believe that a male bighorn sheep of considerable size had wandered along a cliff that overhung a large creek bed. For some time prior, possibly even hours, this particular sheep had been followed by an animal that is becoming more common to our area, and is causing some concern, the mountain lion. This mountain lion had tirelessly tracked the sheep for an unbelievably long time before making his move.
When a mountain lion finally pounces, it is with a deadly certainty. He will act with lightning swiftness, clamping its powerful jaws shut on the neck of the unfortunate animal that was his prey. He will then, no matter the injuries he himself incur es, will stubbornly refuse to let go of his prey until the battle is won. This particular battle was a fierce one. This muscular sheep was also determined to live, and would refuse to go down without a fight. He drug the mountain lion, possibly for hundreds of feet. The investigation found plants uprooted, rocks moved, branches broken where the two animals had struggled. As the sheep began to tire, he lay down and started to roll down an embankment, dragging the lion with him. The two majestic animals rolled for about forty feet before plummeting off a ten foot cliff into the creek bed below. The battle was finally won, and the lion waited until the sheep had drawn his final breath before he released his hold. Exhausted, he lay down beside his kill, while he tried to regain his strength. Generally, a mountain lion will drag his kill into the forest, away from any dangers that would interrupt his hard-earned meal. However, this lion, due to lack of strength and possibly injuries incurred from the long fight, left the sheep in the middle of the creek bed. He fed for a short amount of time before the rising sun, and morning movement in the town startled him away. A early morning hiker called in the bloody scene, and a few days later, the town and surrounding area read about the battle.
This was a reminder to many of us that we live in the Rocky Mountains, in the midst of a large wildlife corridor. We are constantly receiving warnings about the dangers that surround us.
That same week, a friend of ours, a girl that Blue went to high school with, contacted Blue about some work. When he arrived at her business several days later, she apologized that she wasn't completely prepared for the meeting. When he inquired, she tearfully explained that her husband, father of her four children, had left her. Her story was so unbelievably sad, and yet not so uncommon. We, as Christians, live in a very dangerous place. We are in the middle of an enormous worldly corridor. We are surrounded by danger, and many of us ignore the warnings that are given. Jesus warned us that we are to live in the world, but not of the world. He warned us that we have an fierce enemy seeking to devour us. Sometimes, in my comfy marriage, in my comfy church, in my comfy country, in my comfy life, I need a reminder of the dangers.

Abba Father

Last night we decided to go have dinner with our wonderful friends, the Genns. Kelly fixed a delicious dinner, and we were all sitting around enjoying a toasted marshmallow latte, when Forest came clunking down the hallway wearing a pair of shoes that belonged to Ella, the Genns' 3-year old daughter. We all laughed at him, he was so cute. Not even a moment later, he tripped. Now, all kids fall quite a bit, but he did this one right. Blue jumped out of his chair and ran over to him, scooping him up in his arms, groaning, "oh, no, Forest." I didn't realize what had happened, but when Blue turned around and I saw the blood gushing from his forehead, I realized that he had struck his head directly on the corner of the wall.
We all jumped into action, grabbing ice, cloths, and even the phone. The entire time, Blue just held onto Forest, kissing his head, and mumbling, "oh, buddy."
Josh grabbed the keys and he and Blue were out the door with Forest, trying to make it to the walk-in clinic before they closed.
It was disappointing to have them return a few minutes later, informing us that the clinic had closed and we would have to drive back to Canmore, 40 minutes away. Blue dropped me, Meadow, and Ocean off at our house, and he and Forest drove away to the hospital.
As he drove away, I stood in the swirling snowflakes and remembered the picture of him holding that little boy in his arms. He held him with such love and tenderness. And, the expression on his face said that he would do anything to take away his child's pain. As I walked inside, praying for my husband and my little boy, I knew that my Heavenly Father was holding me in the same way.
Forest had four stitches, and all reports inform me that he was a brave patient.
Thank you, Abba Father.

Cleansing

So, a few months ago, I bought a cleanse. Of course, for reasons way beyond my control, I did not start it until February 1st. I am a bit of a procrastinator, I will be honest.
By the time I started it, I felt as if I had spent adequate time preparing mentally and physically. It has always seemed strange to me that there is a surprisingly enormous amount of mental energy exerted when denying the physical body something that the body truly craves. I do not recommend my method, which was to attempt to store up sugar and caffeine for the duration of the cleanse. The day before the cleanse began, I made a vain effort to consume enough sugar and coffee so that, presumably, my body would not miss it for the next two weeks. It did not work.
The first day, I jumped out of bed, eager to begin my new healthy lifestyle,ok, my new healthy two weeks. Two weeks will go by really fast, right? Some scrambled eggs, and a cup of tea, not my usual breakfast, but it would work. Lunch consisted of a large salad, with a little olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Dinner would get a little monotonous soon, but meat, veggies and either brown rice or a baked potato would have to do.
The headache that began in the early evening of the first day and lasted for the next several days, would often whisper in my ear that coffee was my friend, that sugar would make me feel better. But, my stubborn streak persisted and I made another cup of tea. By day four, I was certain that it was not in my family's best interests for me to deny myself any longer. To say it mildly, I was a little cranky. After a gentle reminder from my husband that the purpose of this cleanse was to actually make me feel better, I decided to...have another carrot stick.
By day seven, I honestly could understand how Esau felt. If I had anything that resembled a birthright, I would have sold it for a bagel, smothered in cream cheese, and large latte. And, is it possible to hallucinate from the lack of sugar?
Day nine dawned and I was actually feeling a little bit proud of my accomplishment. I wanted everyone to know about my cleanse and the great sacrifices I was making for the betterment of my body. However, as the last few days dragged by, I found myself spending a lot of time dreaming and planning my menu for when this ordeal was over.
One morning, as I was reading God's Word, He spoke to me through Ps 119:9 "Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word."
It is a good thing to practice discipline in the area of eating. To deny our flesh satisfaction for any period of time will strengthen us physically and spiritually. But, how can we truly be cleansed of all that our spirits have absorbed from this world? By hearing and obeying the Word!!
The directions on the back of my cleanse recommend that a person do one of these twice a year. That is four weeks out of fifty-two weeks that I am denying myself all of the deliciousness that certain foods have to offer. The purpose of the cleanse is to rid the body of any toxins that tend to linger after the prolonged intake of foods that basically are not good for the body. It takes planning and a lot of discipline.
How many weeks do I need to deny myself spiritually of all that this world has to offer? How much planning and discipline do I need to rid my soul of toxins that prolonged access to the world has built up?

Everyday

Just a few pics. Ocean loves skiing, and his instructor, Hannah, is wonderful. God has given us three beautiful children, and I am so thankful everyday to be their mom.

Probably...

"There is probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life." When I first saw this ad, being plastered on the sides of buses in Toronto, and expected to receive more sponsorhip for ads across Canada, I was really angry. However, as I allowed the thought to sink in, I felt laughter bubble up inside.
I imagined a plane full of excited passengers, on route from San Francisco to Sydney Australia. The pilot's voice booms over the intercom, "Welcome to our flight, we probably have enough fuel to make it over the ocean, so go ahead and enjoy the flight." I am visualizing that plane emptying out pronto.
Blue and I traveled to Asia quite a few years ago. I still remember the winding, mountain roads, the old buses, and the very capable drivers. I am sure that I would have reacted with fear if our driver would have announced that the brakes would probably work, so just hold on and enjoy the ride to the bottom of the mountain.
Probably. That very word screams of uncertainty. If I were not a believer in God, and I most certainly am, but if I were not, that word would cause me to have many sleepless nights. What if there is? What if there is a God, and He is the God of the Bible? What if He is loving and merciful, but also righteous and just? What if He is coming to earth again? A fool says in his heart that there is no God.
There is a God, believe on Him and He will bring joy to your life.

LTG

My husband is part of a LTG group. This is a Life Transformation Group. Our pastor introduced them to our church quite a few years ago. One group consists of 2 or 3 men. They meet once a week, usually early morning, and ask each other some pointed questions. These questions are designed to keep each of the men accountable. It is a great idea and has had great success in our little body of Christ.
Over Christmas, we were discussing the group with my brother, who is a pastor down in Idaho. He asked me if there were such a group for women, what type of questions would I ask. My first instinct was that women do not really need such a group, they probably tend to share too much. However, I have been thinking about it for the past month and these are the questions that I came up with.
I sat down and thought about the areas that I am vulnerable, the areas that I could use a Christian sister to ask me about and pray with me about.
1) Have I allowed anyone or anything to take the place of God as first in my life? Exodus 20:3
2) This week, have I realized that God Himself is the fulfillment of all my need? And, in doing so, I have not placed pressure on anyone or anything to complete my needs? Phil 4:19
3) Have I served those around me, especially my husband and children, with joy and the purpose being to please God and not receive any benefit in return? I Cor 10:31
4) Have I been content with all of the material things that God has graciously provided for me? Hebrews 13:5
5) Have I allowed myself to envy the possessions or circumstances of another?
Phil 4:11
6) Have I allowed my mouth to be used for gossip or slander of another person?
Ps 19:14
7) Have I allowed another person to experience God's love through me? Matt 5:16
8) Have I loved the "unloveable" this week? Matt 5:44
9) Have I started my days with time, no matter how short, spent in God's Word to me? II Tim 3:16
10) When I am hurt, disappointed, or angry, have I taken my problems straight to the throne of grace, rather than to another person? Heb 4:16
11) Have I allowed my life, no matter what the circumstances, to be a song of praise to my God and my King? Ps 42:5

I must stop there, for I think that is enough to keep me busy for at least a day.

"I change not.'

My brain feels a bit like mush today. I can't seem to be able to get anything accomplished. My thoughts change so quickly, I am positive I must have ADD. I am having trouble concentrating. I know that there are so many important things that I must think about, decisions to be made, work to be done. However, how does a person achieve any of these things if their brain will not cooperate?
I am no stranger to change. My wonderful husband thrives on it, so I experience it along side him. The most impressive thought weighing on my brain today is that Blue has been without work for over a month now. Jobs have been cancelled, renovations have been postponed, and the headlines declare only gloom for the building industry this year. 5,000 construction workers have been layed off in Calgary. Hitch-hikers picked up on the highway declare that they are headed west to try to find some work. What does that mean for our little family?
God, in His sovereignty, has brought along the opportunity for Blue to take an EMR course. The Exshaw Fire Department is paying for him to take the course. This course will be the final requirement for him to become an official firefighter. He is applying to the City of Calgary. If he is accepted, it will be a big change for him, and for our family.
Another change weighing on my little brain is our ice cream business. Four summers ago, we opened an ice cream business out of an old school bus. It has become quite a bit event for summertime in Canmore. However, we believe God wants us to be doing something else with our time in the summer, running backcountry camps. It is not feasible for us to do both, so the Old School Ice Cream Bus is for sale. We have a young couple from Canmore who are seriously interested in it. If God chooses to sell it for us, we could be running camps again this summer!!
Then, there is our condo situation...let's just leave that alone for a little longer, shall we?
I feel like a wave, being tossed about by the economy, our circumstances, neither of which I can control. In the middle of my run the other day, I stopped and shook my fist at the sky and yelled, "I will not doubt you! No matter what happens, I will always trust you!" The sun peeked through the clouds and my Lord yelled back, "For I am the LORD, I change not..." I smiled, and kept running.
Whatever change occurs in our lives in the next few months, I have a sure foundation, a Rock, a shelter...
"before the mountains were brought forth, or ever thou hadst formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, thou are God."

History has been made...

So we have it. History has been made. Dreams have been fulfilled. Goals have been achieved. Barack Obama is the first African-American president of the United States.
Yes, it is an amazing thing. As I have watched with awe, the euphoria swell up and flow into every corner of the earth, I recognize that something momentous has occurred. During a time of darkness and gloom, this seemingly angel of light has appeared, promising hope and change. Everyone wants hope and change, right? What is wrong with that?
He promises a greener earth, he promises education and health care for everyone, he promises peace, he promises a good and safe economy, and he promises that the world will once again view the United States with respect and admiration. Living up in the beautiful country of Canada, I am often surrounded by a persuasive line of thought that places all of these promises as priorities. And, I am reminded of Satan's temptation of the Son of Man. "And Jesus answered and said unto him, Get thee behind me, Satan; for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and Him only shalt thou serve."
My heart sickens when I think of Obama's stand on abortion and gay marriage. My chest tightens with fear when I think of all the damage that could be done by him in the next four years. But, I also have God's promise that "...there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God." My God, good and true, is and always will be in control. I have nothing to fear.
Looking back at history, which we all know repeats itself, maybe God placed Obama as president to bring His believed children to their knees. Isn't that where we should be anyway?

Decisions made...

I can think of fewer times in my life when I have been more insecure than I have been as a mom. Any mom who tells you that she is 100% confident of every decision she makes for her child is well...a liar. Always seeking advice, or looking for affirmation, it is always a relief to have someone look you in the eyes and say, "You are a great mom, you absolutely made the right decision." Everyday you are bombarded with new decisions to make. Sometimes they are easy, "No, you can't have a bazooka for your birthday." Sometimes, they are hard. Sometimes, we don't realize that our answer could change their lives forever, and sometimes, we make an easy answer way too difficult.
I believe that I fell into the later category when presented with the idea of putting Ocean into ski lessons. Honestly, I have second-guessed every decision I have ever made for him. And, as he gets older, I find I am down on my knees even more, seeking God's wisdom for our little boy.
His first lesson was yesterday. For the entire week prior, as the day approached, I found myself getting more and more nervous. Were we pushing him too far, would this traumatize him into never skiing again, was he strong enough, would he get hurt, what if he needed me and I wasn't there, were his instructors properly trained to work with a child like Ocean,...and the questions went on and on.
A few days before the class, I decided, at the last minute, to take a pottery class. There are no coincidences with God, so by His guidance, the girl next to me was a skiing instructor at Sunshine, and not just any instructor, she was going to be Ocean's!! She and her boyfriend ran the adaptive program at the hill. She was able to answer lots of my questions, and listened patiently while I talked through many of my fears.
I did feel better, but when I woke up yesterday morning, my stomach felt like it did the morning of my first piano recital.
It was a beautiful day, a gift from my great God. We had to take a shuttle from the parking lot to the hill, and I think every person on that bus had to smile at me announcing to everyone that it was Ocean's first ski lesson. The two snowboarders who were blessed enough to ride up the gondola with us just smiled at Ocean while I told them all about his first day. I was feeling good about this whole idea. We made it to the meeting place, and I was thrilled to see Vic, his instructor. She informed me that one of the other students was ill, so Ocean would have two instructors, wow, this was great! She also told me that it would be best if I stayed in the lodge, so that I wouldn't be a distraction. ok, no problem. But, as I watched Ocean walk away with those two girls, I felt panicky again.
I found a nice spot on the deck, conveniently overlooking the magic carpet area where Ocean was. I was still quite a distance away. My panicky feelings got worse, and tears started to roll down my cheeks. This was too much for him, he wasn't ready for this. I gripped the log railings and oblivious to all of the happy people around me, I begged God to empower my little boy.
When I saw one of his instructors begin to snap on his skis, it was all I could do to keep myself from running hysterically down the hill screaming, "he's not ready!" Instead, I decided the skier sitting next to me, quietly enjoying his lunch, needed to know about my son's first ski lesson. He patiently followed my finger while I pointed out the little boy in blue. "He is cute, he is doing great, " he says.
Really!? I released my grip on the railing and realized, yeah, he was doing great.
I was all smiles for the next hour as I watch Ocean slide down that little slope on his skis. He did great, and he was super cute. I watched him throw his arms in the air, and I could hear him laughing. That was all the confirmation I needed that I had indeed made the right decision.

Thou art there.

I managed to get out for a walk today. As I was putting, oh around a thousand, layers on the kids to keep them warm in the Canadian wind, I made a commitment to spend some time praying out loud. I have found "confessing with my mouth" to be vital in the quantity and the quality of my prayer life. When I pray quietly, my thoughts tend to wander and I realize that I am no longer praying. I also know that Satan, my greatest enemy, cannot read my thoughts. I find great pleasure in having him hear me as I praise my God, confess my sin, ask for His guidance, and build a genuine relationship with the Great I Am.
The kids settled in, and I began my prayer, out loud. We had walked for about 20 minutes or so, and Meadow finally interrupted me.
"Mom, who are you talking to?"
Good question, sweetie.
"I am talking to God."
"Where is God, I don't see Him."
"He is here."
"How do you know?"
"Because He has promised me that He will never leave us."
"Why can't I see Him?"
"Sometimes I can't see Him either, baby, sometimes I can't even feel Him, but He is there."
"Is He with daddy, too?"
"Yes"
"How can He be with daddy and us?"
"Because He is God."
"I think that I like God."
"Me too, baby, me too."
A few minutes passed, and then Meadow said, "You can talk to God again if you want, mommy"
"Ok, I think that I will."

Psalm 139:7-10 "Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there; if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou are there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me."

Happy 2009!

It is hard to believe that another year has gone by. The fact that I just said that is a sign that I am getting old. Nevertheless, ready or not, it is 2009. I look back on the past year, the lessons learned, the memories made, the tears shed, the laughter, the hurt, the sacrifices, and the growth, and I can only say one thing, my Lord has never left my side.
I have so many wonderful blessings to be thankful for. Ocean officially started school. He is attending private programing for the morning and then is integrated with the kindergarten class for the afternoon. He loves it. He rides his own bus to and from school, and I think that is his favorite part of the day. He is going to try skiing this winter. There is a wonderful program for special needs children, and we believe that it will be a great strengthening time for him.
Meadow is a little bothered that she can't go to school too. We go to a preschool library once a week, and to a playroom where she can paint and play with other kids. She is satisfied, for now. She is learning her letters and numbers, and insists that Mom teach her how to play the piano. She is already planning her 4th birthday party, which is still 6 months away, oh boy. :) She went ice skating for the first time over the holidays, and now talks about going all the time. She keeps us going.
Our little Forest is growing like a weed. I still see myself coming home from the hospital wondering how in the world am I going to take care of three kids. He is going to be two in a few months, and is beginning to show all of the frustration of a child of his age. We call him "Forest the Destroyer", because he leaves a path of chaos behind him, wherever he goes. He seems to know that his smile will get him out of all sorts of trouble. He loves playing with his brother and sister, and has developed a pretty fast getaway when he knows that he has pushed them too far.
Blue is still working in the construction trade. We also are were thankful to complete another successful summer with the Ice Cream Bus. We are praying about selling the bus, as Blue would like to get a little more serious about working in the camping ministry.
Deb is content to stay at home with the kids. There are so many things I would like to improve in my life. I am a goal setter, and I love the feeling of a crossing a goal off of the list. As many of you know, being a stay-at-home mom is sometimes not an immediately rewarding job. But, when God's calling is that strong in your life, there can be no greater joy than that of serving Him by serving your family.
Which brings me to my verse for 2009:
"Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet."
John 13:13,14
I don't know what God has for me and my family in 2009. I pray that as we meet each situation, we will be reminded of what Christ did for us, and that His love and light will be lived out in us, the Falconers.