I am ashamed. An apology stutters from my mouth at least once a day, usually going something like this..."Oh, I am so sorry, I know that I wrote it down somewhere..." or "was that today, yes, you told me, I just... I'm sorry, I forgot."
Why can't I remember everything that I need to remember? Why do I forget appointments, and grocery lists, and things to return, and bills to pay, stock to order, and phone calls to answer? Why did I not remember that I told my daughter we would go to the park this morning? Or, how could I possibly not remember my friend's birthday, or that my husband bikes EVERY Tuesday night?
The laundry was forgotten out on the line, now it is raining. The french toast, yep, that is definitely a burnt smell. My baby, my sweet baby, when was the last time I changed her diaper?!
I did sign up for that, didn't I? I wrote that down on something, somewhere.
Yes, I am on my way, I always say that I am five minutes late for every kid, ha ha. Would it be alright if I added an extra five for my dog?
You sent an email? I haven't checked that today, or maybe it has been a few days. Yes, the mail, I believe I checked that yesterday, or was that last week? Who put the coffee creamer in the microwave? And, I was positive that I put soap in the dishwasher...
There are moments I want to never forget, and moments that I wish I could erase from my memory forever. How can it be that when I am hurt by others, my pride and self will hold on to that hurt, clinging to my rights to be treated respectfully and appropriately, and so easily forget that I have also been the offender? And, even if cling stubbornly to my right to demand forgiveness or to withhold forgiveness, I so easily forget the predestined grace I bathe in on a daily basis.
I haven't been diagnosed with Alzheimer's yet, but if I ever am, I pray that I will never forget all of God's benefits. He forgives all my sins, and healeth all of my diseases, He redeemed my life from destruction, and covers me with loving kindness and tender mercies, He satisfies my mouth with good things, and He is merciful, gracious, slow to anger and plenteous in mercy.
