The morning was normal, as far as I could tell. When I look back on it, I find myself analyzing the little details. Was there something that I had missed, something that would have told me to stay at home today?
I was startled awake by my youngest son climbing on top of me, trying to squeeze in between his dad and I for an early morning cuddle. I pried one eye open, just enough to peep at the numbers on the clock. Groan...it wasn't that early, it was time to get the kids up and ready for school. Forest curled up behind me, ok, maybe five more minutes.
Meadow's voice awoke me next, "Mom, who is taking me to school?"
Ok, time to get up, my brain was telling my body to move, but nothing was happening.
"Mom?"
Ok, I am coming. It is wonderful to have such a responsible five-year old in our home. The next forty-five minutes swept by in the usual madness of lunch prep, breakfast, getting dressed, brushing teeth, hugs, kisses, and goodbyes.
Whew...waving goodbye to Ocean's bus is almost always followed by the refill of my coffee cup and a collapse on the couch. I am never there for too long however, before either Forest or Willow, or both, is tugging for my attention.
I do remember looking out the front window to the wintry scene outside. Nothing unusual, the same scene that has greeted me every morning for the last four months, but today I was struck with the fierce, pure beauty of it. This beautiful thing called snow, that falls so gently and quietly to cover the ugly, the dirty, of winter. I paused for a brief moment to thank God for sending beauty, for sending His Son to cover me.
My youngest daughter, Willow, has been a challenge for me. She is very much a "mommy's girl", and though at times, I relish in the love she showers upon me, at other times, she can be a bit stifling. This morning was no different.
As I was getting ready, her crying and clinging to my leg, was causing severe anxiety on my part, so I placed her in her crib.
Blue and I had decided the night before that I would take Forest and WIllow into town with me for my Monday morning torture, I mean, Crossfit session. Blue had online modules to finish for his preparation to be hired by Calgary Fire, so he needed a little peace and quiet, a rare commodity around our house, but relished in if found. However, I digress.
Several times, I would complain to Blue that I wasn't going to make it. Sometimes, I believe that just getting out of the house should be considered a work-out.
As I prepared to gather Willow into her car seat, I realized that she had fallen asleep. I glanced sheepishly at Blue, after all, it wasn't like I had planned this.
He shrugged, "You might as well leave Forest too."
I smiled and ran out the door, "love ya!" May sometimes sound as though an afterthought, but always meant, for I do love that man.
I backed out of our driveway and realized our lab, Kiska was still in the front yard. I should go let her back in....no, Blue will do it. I stopped at the stop sign at the end of our street, what if he doesn't realize Kiska is out, I will call, .....ugh, forgot the cell. I really should go back for the cell....but I am already late.
I pulled out onto the highway, struck once again by the crystal beauty of winter. There was snow on the road, snowflakes were fluttering lazily, nothing to warn me of any danger. Nothing.
Intense, strength training today. One would think that my muscles would eventually adapt to such evil brutality. As a punishment for continued stubbornness , I put them through the additional interval session on the rower. As a result, I left the gym a little later than usual.
The snow was falling heavily now, the wind had picked up, the sky was white, completely white. I saw some friends with their brand new baby walk into their business next door. I walked over to say hello, and meet the beautiful little new one.
After the oohs and aahs had been said, the conversation drifted to the weather and road conditions outside.
I quietly slipped out the door, and ducking my head against the whirling snow, walked back to the van. I have driven in these conditions a thousand times, I am fine, I grew up with winter, I know winter, I love winter. This is ok.
I can't see. Everything is white. I strained to see some color, to see anything but white. I only have to drive very slowly and carefully for fourteen kilometers, that is all, just fourteen. As I peer into the whiteness, I recall a conversation I had had with my daughter the week before.
"Mom, is Jesus with me when I go to school?" Yes
"Is Jesus with me when I go skiing?" Yes
"Mom, is Jesus with me when I am all alone?" YES!
"He will never leave me, right, mom?" Right!
"Is he always with you too, mom?"
I hugged her and looked her in the eyes, "Jesus has promised us that He will never leave us, and He always keeps His promises."
I smiled at the memory, and I realized that I was gripping the steering wheel, and that I was actually afraid. I had no reason whatsoever to be afraid, because Jesus was with me.
My last thought before I slammed into the rear of a semi that I did not know was there, was that I was not alone. The air bag deployed in my face, again, more white. I glanced up to see the back of the truck at my windshield, more white. Several seconds passed before we came to a complete stop on the side of the road. I had attached myself to the truck bumper, and the driver had conveniently pulled me off the road, away from any more danger. The driver of the truck pulled my door open, blood was pouring out of my nose, finally, some color. I was ok.
Over the next few hours, I continually heard how lucky I was. That is easy, an easy explanation when our minds cannot comprehend. I am so glad that my life was not left to luck that day. I believe in something, Someone, far more trustworthy than luck. My God has promised that He will never leave me, I am never alone.
