I have a profile on Facebook.
I will admit that Facebook is a little like sugar, I can never get enough.
There is always one more link to make me think, one more message to reply to, one more picture to make me smile.
But, all of those thoughts on our present addiction to social media are for another day.
Today, I am thinking of the posts I read that are written by contented wives.
"I so love my husband, he did all the laundry while I was gone." or....
"I have the best husband in the whole world, he made dinner!" or....
"So grateful to my amazing man, breakfast in bed, I love you honey!" or....
"I can see my reflection in our toilet, my husband must love me."
Anyway, you get the point. I have always thought a post would be humorous that said something like,
"I love my husband, took me 20 minutes to pick up all of his clothes scattered around the house." or....
"My man rocks, he makes a huge mess in the kitchen every time he makes a snack!" or.....
"I am so blessed to be married to a man who leaves a sink piled high with dishes for me to do when I returned from work!"
Not that any of the above are true of my man, However, I do find him much easier to love when he is lovely. Is true love ever really easy?
For the year, 2011, I gave my husband an intriguing gift. I gave him the gift of 52 dates.
Possibly in our first few years of marriage, ok, maybe even when we were dating, this gift may have been received with a bit more enthusiasm. The look of surprise that initially crossed his face was not exactly what I had been hoping for.
"I kind of wanted a snowboard" was written quite clearly in his eyes. I turned my head wanting to take it back, and offer him the snowboard instead. A snowboard would be more cost effective, less time-consuming, well, a snowboard would be easier.
That last word, drifting through my mind, only made my resolve strengthen. Yes, a board would be easier, but true love is not easy.
Our year of dates have been epic, to say the least. I am the mother of four small children. I knew that I was taking our marriage for granted, that I was expecting him to understand that I was too tired to go out, too busy to sit down and talk, or too emotionally unstable to handle all of his little problems too. He was a big boy, he could take care of himself for awhile. But, how long is awhile, and what better gift could I give my children than to show them a real life example right now of how to love, even when it is hard.
A few nights ago, as I tucked my little boy into bed, I looked into his chocolate brown eyes, and overwhelmed with feeling, I whispered, "I love you, buddy". He looked back up at me and whispered, "you didn't love me at the grocery store." The afternoon flashed back to a series of pictures, none of which will be preserved for the family album. There were several of my little guy bopping his baby sister on the head, a few of him throwing items from the cart overboard, or trying to secretly add items to the cart, then, of course, there was the inevitable tears at the cash when I firmly replied "no" to his consistent requests for candy. All of the above scenarios involved me with a scowl on my face, or hissing in his ear.
I picked him up and held him tight in my arms.
"Buddy, I love you even when you are bad. Whether your actions are good or bad, they will not make you more or less valuable to your mom and dad."
A quote from a sermon that I heard has always stuck with me, "I am not loved because I am valuable, I am valuable because I am loved."
Two out of four of our children have memorized John 3:16. There really is no better description of true love. "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whomever believes on Him, will not perish, but have eternal life!"
True love is hard, is sacrificial, is time-consuming, is exhausting.
To love conditionally is forcing expectations on the lover. Expectations will kill a relationship.
An example of true love...."God showed His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners (unlovely) He died for us!"
