I dearly love my husband. This morning, as he gave me my good-bye kiss on his way to work, he comments, "I will pray for you with the kids today, hon, that you don't lose your temper, I know how you struggle."
My return response was, as always, gracious and kind. "Oh yeah, why don't you try taking care of these kids 24/7, and we will see who struggles then, eh?"
Being a mom is hard. Being a stay-at-home mom is really hard. I am often jealous of other moms that have a "career". They appear to be so successful, put together, organized, and, well, they just always look good.
But, most of all, I am jealous of just that little time away, that break, that time to do something just for me. This morning, despite my husband's prayers, I just wanted some time alone. I wanted to think, I wanted to make the kitchen look like a hurricane of dishes and food had not just recently blown through. I wanted to check my email, and be able to actually read, rather than skim. I guess I really just wanted them, my beautiful kids, to go away, just for a few moments.
I asked them to go play, I asked them to go color, out of desperation, I finally asked them to go watch a cartoon. Each request was met with, "But, mom...."
I opened the Bible. By the way, I have found, not always practiced, that this is the best recourse, no matter the situation.
I found Hebrews 13:5. "...be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."
But, God, we are about ready to have a fourth child, and we live in a one bedroom, one bath house....
Be content, child, you will always have Me...
But, God, our cars are always breaking down...
No matter, precious one, I will never forsake you...
But, God, my son is a mystery to doctors, and we don't know what to do...
Be thankful, daughter, that child belongs to me, and I will never leave him....
But, God, the economy is on the downturn and we will not be able to pay our bills...
Rest in me, friend, even if you lose everything, I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU, NOR FORSAKE YOU!!!!
Even though I feel inadequate, even though I may lose my temper, even though I may desire time away, my God, my Father, will never leave me, and will always give me sufficient strength and grace to love my children in return.
Thanks for your prayers, honey, I needed them today.
