Someone told me that February is over. They must have been telling me the truth, for a call came today reminding me of a meeting I am to attend on March 4th. And, March comes after February. Right?
I love this picture of Meadow on the swings. I see so much future in her smile, hear inspiration in her laugh, smell the coming spring in the mud on her shoes, yet the wind of winter is still in her cheeks.
Most of all, I crave the inspiration.
I wish I could say that I crave inspiration to do something great. Perhaps I could write a book, or start a preppy home-business, or learn to play the guitar, create something magnificent with my hands. No, I am looking for inspiration to make dinner in the evening, the only thing the comes to mind lately is spaghetti. Inspiration to present an amazing, imaginative idea to my two little ones staring up at me with adoring eyes. I stare blankly at the kitchen table, which became an arts and crafts station soon after breakfast. I stare longingly at the sofa, well, what I can see of it after Meadow and Forest have finished their fort. I glance sideways at the laundry room as I pass by, do we really own that many clothes? And, are there any left in our dressers? Climbing the stairs, I grab the shelf for balance. That gray matter left on my fingers can't possibly be dust. As I reach the top of the stairs, I realize that I am breathing heavily, and have to bend over, grab my knees, in order to catch my breath. Surely, I am still weak from the cold we all had last week. I couldn't possibly be "out of shape". I bemusedly look at my figure in the bathroom mirror, "out of shape" is an understatement!
I decide it is time to turn the page on the calendar. There is no use denying the coming of March. I see the pencil marking on March 2, "five more weeks" and,get this, a big smiley face! My breathing gets heavy again, almost hysterical. I sit down and put my head between my knees. Breathe, Breathe! I talk to myself alot. A habit developed over time, lots of time spent alone with toddlers. So, I began to give myself the necessary pep talk.
You can do this, Deb. God's grace is sufficient. He will not give you more than you can handle. His strength is made perfect in weakness. And, in five weeks, with the birth of our new little one, I will be very weak. I am thanking Him five weeks in advance. I am thanking Him for all of the "God-moments" I am going to experience. Those moments when there is no denying that higher Being helped me to survive. I am thanking Him for His inspiration, for His strength, for His grace, for His mercy.
Five more weeks, I can hardly wait!
