Ocean

We celebrated Ocean's 8th birthday last week. I am still in awe that I have been on the "Ocean" journey for 8 years. For a few of his birthdays, we would have big celebrations. We wanted to celebrate his life and all that he is. Lately, however, we have kept the idea simple. For that is who he is, simple. And, I don't mean that in a bad way, I mean the way he sees life. Don't get me wrong, he still loves his balloons, his candles, and his chocolate cake, but we keep the invites to a minimum.
I hope they don't mind me mentioning them, but I love to celebrate his birthday with our friends, the Genns. I feel, in a way, they have walked the "Ocean" journey along side us. When Josh blessed our meal and prayed for Ocean, it was with a love that only someone who has known him for a long time could pray, and I am so thankful to know them and have them know our Ocean.
I think that all of the unknowns that make up our life together forces me to trust. I find there is very little we have to trust for anymore. We have insurance for our houses, for our cars, for our health, for our very lives, for our spouses life, and for our future.
We spend our days planning, planning our days, our weekends, our vacations, and our retirements. Our security is as important to us as the air we breathe. The day we allowed ourselves to believe that we may never have an answer for who Ocean is, the day we looked that last doctor in the eye as he told us that he didn't know, that was the beginning of a journey of learning to trust my God.
I looked up at the sky, I knew Someone who knew. He knew why Ocean was the way he was. He knew what Ocean's purpose was here on this earth. I wish I could say that Ocean was here to grow our family in strength, and patience, and love, and humility. He certainly has done all of these things. I wish I could say that Ocean was here, so that all the many people involved in his life could meet Jesus through our family. I sincerely hope that has happened. But, the truth is, I still cannot say for sure. I still wish we had an earthly answer. I would love to be able to say Ocean is the way he is because of... the better answer is, Jesus made him, and I trust Him completely, for He does all things well.